Missed Connections

SWM TEMP ISO JOB

The best part of any newspaper is the personal ads.  Especially the "Missed Connections" section.

Missed Connections are written by people who have had a brief encounter with someone else, but never got their name or number and desperately want to get in touch with them.  Here's one from SFWeekly:

Trader Sams Friday (3/2).  You: tall, handsome, light colored hair.  Me: dark brown hair, ponytail.  We shared a great smile.  Wish we could have met. EXT#143577

These always seem very unlikely to work, especially since most of them are even less descriptive and more vague than that one.  Why, just look at these other ads I found in the same paper!

(NOTE:  THESE NEXT ONES ARE NOT REAL ADS, BUT INSTEAD HIGHLY EXAGGERATED HUMOROUS FUNNY COMEDY ONES I MADE UP BECAUSE WILD EXAGGERATION MEANS FUNNY COMEDY HUMOR.)

Epcot Center: You: working in ticket booth, brown hair, freckles.  Me: Tourist, black hair, bought four tickets.  Remember?  You told me to enjoy the park and smiled.  I did and would love to tell you about it!  EXT#10922

I Talked To You For An Hour (3/15) You had blonde hair, wore yellow skirt, you didn't say a word!  Shy?  You were standing outside the Oakland School for the Deaf and Blind.  Would love to hear your story next time!  EXT#14222

Oak Park Memorial Hospital (4/1/80).  You: Newly born infant, pink, covered in slime.  Me: Doctor who delivered you, brown hair, mask.  You had nice eyes, figure you must be 21 by now.  Drinks? EXT#10381

Taylor & Market (3/7).  Me: The Taylor Street Strangler, You: Arresting officer.  You pounded my groin with your billy club and maced me.  Thought I sensed a connection during the Miranda rights (you have a great speaking voice!).  Sorry I killed your partner and bit off part of your finger.  Can we pick up where we left off? EXT#12293

The Kitchen (this morning).  You: My wife of 43 years.  Me: Your husband.  We ate breakfast across from each other, caught your eye more than once!  Wish I'd gotten your name.  We're out of non-dairy creamer, can you bring some home?  EXT#14555

Hyatt Hotel, New Years Eve.  Me: CEO, sivler hair, Armani suiit, BMW.  You: gorgouess brunete, quit beauteful.  We kissed ay midnight and both flet the conectshun, we is meant to bee toegether!  Cna't liv without you.  I had my temp type up this ad as sooon as i g0t beck to the orffice!  EXT#(fill in later/ also spellchck!)